Friday, April 8, 2011

A Long Three Days

Photo by Jeff Norris
I think we have a long three days ahead of us. Dad just went out of town for a Buddhist retreat and Jeff, Jeffrey and I are taking care of Mom this weekend. Every time there is a change in routine, Mom gets worse, and this weekend is no different. Dad has only been gone for three hours and Mom has had quite a few challenges this morning, including opening up the upright washer as it was washing clothes so the whole washer full of water and soap spilled onto the floor.

I wish we could always keep things the same for Mom, but it is just not possible. We need to be able to sustain our lives as we care for Mom and sometimes that means the routine changes. Dad is gone and I am working most of the weekend, so most of the caregiving will fall to Jeff. Fortunately he is very calm and caring.

I am a bit scared though because Mom’s recent progression has made me start to worry about how we will still maintain our jobs and care for Mom at the same time without everything falling to Dad because he is retired. I can tell this wears on him and these past few weeks, with our other family member in the hospital, have been hard for him. I am really glad he is taking the time for his retreat this weekend.

It is getting to the point at times that if you leave Mom alone for just a few minutes, anything could happen, which makes it hard to even take a shower or work even though much of my and Jeff’s work can be done from our home offices.

We are in for a long three days, but clearly Mom’s progression shows we are in for many more long days ahead.


Rev. Katie


  1. Hi - I am enjoying reading your blogs. I had a similar situation with my Dad - he too had Alzheimers of the Lewey Body type. It is a tough road and while you may not believe it now, a fast road. We too kept my Dad home for as long as we could that was his wish and my mom's - it wasnt a finance issue, rather a death do us part issue... got to love them. But - when my Dad hit the stage it sounds as though your mom is in - we got alarms on the doors - its a company - that i can get you the name for if you are interested - it alerted you via voice command which door (external)in the house was being opened/shut... it gave me and my mom some sense of ease as we didnt feel like we had to be with my dad every second of the day - and gave him some dignity too.

    I wish you well - take time for yourselves - this is a tough weekend without the primary caregiver there - but - make sure you take a break when you can - Blessings to you !

  2. Thank you for your encouraging words and great advice. We do have a place where we can get such alarms. I think we will be needing to plan for some things like this soon. We got through the weekend pretty well and Dad has come home from his retreat rested and refreshed. You are so right, that breaks make a huge difference.

    It is so helpful when people like you share your advice with those of us going through what you have experience with.

    Rev. Katie