Thanks to friends, I found this video from Kate Whouley who has written a book about her mother and dementia called Remembering the Music, Forgetting the Words: Travels With Mom in the Land of Dementia. I have not read the book, but I am getting it right away.
In this video, Whouley explains how living in the moment is extremely important for caring for and being with someone with dementia.
My Dad and I have talked about this frequently. He does a lot of study and practice of Zen Buddhism and he has brought amazing insight into caring for Mom in a way I think most people are unable to do. This is because he understands the present moment is what matters. Not what Mom used to be able to do, not that she may forget this moment in the next moment, not what we need to do tomorrow, but what we are doing right now matters.
Being present is not always easy. Especially when you need to get to a meeting or work and Mom is upset you are leaving when you have told her many times where you are going but she keeps forgetting. How do you figure out how to live in the moment with her when you need to be somewhere else? However, when you are in the moment and see her enjoy something, her smile makes you remember that being present is key to helping her have a wonderful life.
Once I ready Whouley's book, I will post a review, but this and the other video of her's are wonderful.